This week has been a right old mix of ups and downs for both home and work but I am now an official lady of leisure so life should get a bit more chilled once I’ve decompressed from the current craziness.

Things in general seem even more intensified by lockdown lifting and I firmly believe I have been in denial since March.  It’s a very common trait of mine to happily bimble along saying that I have gone through all the stages of the change curve and I am in acceptance when, in fact, I am like an ostrich with my head firmly in the sands of denial.  How melodramatic!

If I could plot how it feels when you leave a gig when there isn’t another one to go onto, it would be like falling off a cliff.  One minute you are the centre of everything going on and then you are just not needed at all.  My job has been like this for many years – it’s the absolute thrill of being given a task that is really difficult to deliver or is in a mess and then get it back on track.

Quite often as a contractor, once things are back on an even keel, you hand it over to a permanent person and they pick up the baton, usually taking all the credit.  I try not to let this bother me and do my very best to take the Justin Moorhouse approach to life.  Earlier this year at his performance at The Lowry, he was bit worried if people would like his show but persuaded us that he didn’t care as he’d had our money.  Hilarious and true!

My dad is still having tonnes of tests done to find out what is making him pass out.  The NHS are being really thorough which is reassuring and hopefully they will fix him soon.  It is definitely time to put on my big girl pants and support my parents instead of them doing the honours.

In many respects, as the hospitals are not very busy other than Covid-19 cases, he is probably being seen sooner than he would have been under normal circumstances.  It is all a great worry, though, and I do often think about something one of my wonderful friends said to me a few years ago:  Amanda Joan, I don’t envy you this next stage of your life with aging parents – it’s awful.  Sad and true!

I said to my parents a while ago that there is a big part of me that wishes I’d followed what most of my family did and didn’t move away from where we grew up so I could pop to see them at any time and be on hand to look after them.  They both thought this was ridiculous and were just grateful that I didn’t live in New York or China!

Very sadly, a couple of close friends lost parents recently and their funerals were this week.  It is such a shame that only 10 people can attend but, as with many similar situations during this pandemic, it absolutely makes sense, as heart breaking as it may be.  It is a stark warning but still telling us to enjoy every single minute you can as you just don’t know what is around the corner.

On a brighter note, it was the lovely Dave’s birthday this week and we actually went out for a walk for the first time in ages to one of the local parks.  The weather was a bit miserable but it was quite nice being out in the open, especially as there weren’t too many crowds of people.  My ankle swelled up the following day so that is definitely a warning to move more before I seize up completely!

We had a good fun Zoom call with my family too to celebrate my sister’s birthday.  It will be so great to all get together again in person and hopefully sooner rather than later.

My list:  I’m still reading my book – “It’s About Bloody Time. Period” by Emma Barnett but, God, it’s slow.  I am learning a few things and I have been shocked by how much women are part of the problem, me included, without even realising.  I’m going to try to finish this over the next week so I can read something more frivolous and fun as it is dragging me down a bit.

I’ve been loving Agatha Raisin on TV this week and wished I could dress like her, wear those killer heels and be able to walk in them with such confidence.  It’s a bit of harmless fun – all completely unbelievable – including the constant carrying of a handbag irrespective of whatever scrapes she and her posse get themselves into!

This next revelation definitely needs a drum roll – I have finally completed my green knitted dragon.  He is now safely snuggled up to the Diplodocus my Cheshire girlie-friend knitted for me a few years back.  I kept the momentum as I also learned how to make pom poms this week and am determined to make Christmas decorations for the presents that will be wrapped even more beautifully than normal.  I nearly have everything to make Christmas pudding and holly pom poms!  Oh, yes, I can feel middle-age breathing down my neck and I will be entering the Wilmslow Show craft competitions before I can say Zimmer frames at the ready!

My lowlight:  It was my turn to put on the lottery tickets and I forgot AGAIN.  In a parallel universe somewhere, I am celebrating an enormous win of millions!  Fortunately, we only do lucky dips so I can’t check how close we actually were.

My highlight: Oh, how terribly exciting to report that I have an appointment with the hairdresser to sort out my roots on Monday.  Oh, how fabulous.  I had to choose between colour or cut so went for colour with a fringe trim – there really is a God!

Week 15 has been a bit tough and the hardest week for a while but, that’s just life!  Onwards and upwards!


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