Not sure what happened between going to bed last night and waking up this morning but I must have twisted my left hip as it’s being really troublesome this morning.  Obviously, as ours is a partnership of equals.

Dave ignored my whinge and reminded me it was my turn to do tea, coffee and breakfast. In Dave’s defence, my pain threshold can only be described as pathetic so I really don’t blame him one bit!

Fantastic news – Captain Tom has raised nearly £26m.  WOW!! That is just incredible and he has become an overnight sensation at the tender age of 99.

We had a luxuriously chilled morning reading the papers in bed and watching the TV.  This used to be a real treat for us gadabout Padbury’s but now it is becoming the norm.  When we get back to normal, I am not sure I will want to give this up but I am just not sure how to say no.  By the sounds of everyone today, that’s a problem I won’t have to worry about for some time to come yet as we are a long way from the lockdown even beginning to be lifted.

One of my guilty pleasure is watching the newspaper reviews on Sky TV.  I’d love this to be on my infamous bucket list but, as I know it will never happen, I haven’t even bothered adding it.  There are a couple of the reviewers that are young and “speak youth” which is great for them to have reached these heights so soon in their careers but I would like to train them not to say “like” as much and remind them that there’s a “t” in potato and other such words.  I’m not sure if this is pedantry or envy but either way, it is incredibly annoying.

The papers were full of very interesting things today, well, interesting to me, anyway.  Here we go:

•    Posh’ business is bound to be going down the drain if everyone keeps saying it will.  Surely, we’ve all heard of Self-Fulfilling Prophesy – well, that.  I’m still a bit conflicted to read that she has put some staff on enhanced furlough so they will get more than the standard 80% and it’s been well reported that the VB company is losing millions and hasn’t turned a profit since it started in 2008 but as a household, they are multi-millionaires.  Surely relying on government handouts is not on?  I’d be very interested to understand what corporation tax the VB company has paid over the years and then I may be more sympathetic.

•    I cannot believe that Sir Elton John’s husband, David Furnish, is not a Sir too.  I did a little bit of research (also known as Googled it!) and apparently, this is also the same for titled women’s partners too.  Come on, title-giver-outer-ers of the nation – I get that this may be an outdated practice but at least make it equal.

•    There was a report that the middle-classes are abandoning their cleaners and not supporting them financially during this crisis.  I’d like to stress that we’ve not and neither have our close friends but shame on the rest of you.  Oh, as an aside, please don’t invest any time or money in “mop socks” that mop the floor as you pretend to ice-skate around the kitchen as I tried them back in 1997 before I could afford a cleaner and they didn’t work then either.

•    I believe the phrase “WTF” was created especially for use with reporting what Donald Trump is up to and what he is saying.  With all these mixed messages, it is no surprise the Americans are confused and going out as much.

•    Has anybody in their right mind heard of this new fad of cake smashing by the infant as a rite of passage for 1-year olds?  Apparently, it is all the rage in the USA and the ritual costs around £800.  God bless America and all her crazy ways! You can guarantee it will be heading to these shores any time soon if it hadn’t arrived already knowing the photos of Archie Sussex taking part are only weeks away.

•    There was an insightful article on how cheaters are coping in lockdown without their flings, mistresses and misters.  Oh, my, I am so naïve!

The sun was still out by the time we got up so maybe Mother Nature isn’t quite as cross with us as I thought yesterday as we had a few precious hours in the glorious rays.  We even did our Italian homework in the garden and I channelled my inner Helen Mirran and told Dave to just concentrate on his own instead of correcting mine.

I won’t be the only one to notice that we have become kinder and less selfish in these crazy times so I just hope we remember this so this trait can become part of the UK’s DNA.

My Parallel Universe:  I was supposed to be flying to Lisbon this afternoon with my favourite Felicity Kendal-type gorgeous friend as our joint present to ourselves to celebrate our 50th birthdays.  We should have been sipping champagne in the lounge as a special treat instead of being locked in our respective homes.  She must be a fabulous friend as I laughed rather than cursed her when she pointed out that when we go this time next year, she will still be 50 and I will nearly be 52!

My List:  Some mindfulness Sunday Keijo, Pathfinder with a bit of Arroword puzzles thrown in for good measure; an indulgent coconut foot mask whilst watching Simon & Tim; tonnes of Dear Mrs Bird; and the current addiction of more Modern Family binge watching.  Super day!

My Lowlight:  There is still not enough PPE in the country to keep the hospitals and care homes protected.  Surely, we can make our own instead of relying on other countries?

My Highlight:  We had a lovely catch up with Dave’s family and even came second in the quiz – YAY!!

My Anxiety Level:  Low and chilled.

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