A Tameside woman whose brother ended his own life is encouraging people to talk openly about suicide in a bid to help others.
Natasha Costello, 37, from Ashton, told how she lost her younger brother, Lewis, to suicide three years ago when he was just 22.
She is sharing her story to help highlight World Suicide Prevention Awareness Day on Tuesday 10 September and the Greater Manchester Month of Hope, supported by Tameside Council, which aims shine a light on suicide prevention and mental health awareness.
Natasha, who is a mum-of-one and works as a bakery technical assistant, said: “I was always close to Lewis, we are a close family. We regularly spoke to eachother, met at mum’s for Sunday dinner and even went on holiday all together as a family. Lewis was always funny, he had a dry sense of humour and he would make people laugh. He was always the uncle the kids in the family were drawn to because he was fun.
“But he also struggled with his mental health from being a young teenager and there was a combination of him not getting the right support and not engaging with the support either. He wouldn’t open up and he had no hope or belief that things would change or that he would get better.
“Lewis had made two previous suicide attempts at the ages of 16 and 20, and then in May 2021 he ended his own life.
“I was shocked. It was a like a nightmare and it didn’t feel real. Despite his history, it was so unexpected as Lewis had just recently seemed to have turn a corner – he was turning his life around talking about getting a job and moving house, he seemed happy and at peace with himself. But I now know this can be a common pattern just before someone dies by suicide.”
Natasha and her mum and step-father sought bereavement support at the Anthony Seddon Fund, a Tameside based charity which supports mental wellbeing.
She said: “We first went in the June after Lewis died in the May, I didn’t know if it would be too soon but I thought I could at least try it. It has helped me massively, it has got me through times I couldn’t have got through on my own. You can speak to other people or you can just listen. We are all on that same rollercoaster, we’re all processing grief. You never get over grief but can come more to terms with it.”
Natasha is now herself a volunteer for Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) – which holds sessions at the Anthony Seddon Fund – to support others in a similar position.
She said: “Going to the sessions were the best things I ever did, it stopped me going in my own deep hole, so when I was asked if I would like to volunteer and help facilitate session for SOBS I was happy to help – I wanted to give back and hopefully help someone else like I had been helped.
“Whether someone is struggling with their own mental health or suicidal thoughts or they are worried about someone else, I would say make that step to talk to someone and ask for help. There is so much help out there – you don’t even have to talk you can text. Nobody judges.
“If you think someone is feeling suicidal just be straight and ask them. Don’t go around the houses trying to avoid mentioning suicide, just be open about it. It may just help them to be open back and give them the support they need to get more help.
“I used to ask my brother if he was feeling ‘hot’ or ‘cold’ when asking about his mental health – I was going around the houses as I was afraid to be more direct. But now, knowing what I know, I wish I had been more open and straight talking to him. It is too late for any regrets now but I want to raise awareness among others – even if it helps just one person then it is worthwhile.”
