Wendi Fletcher from Manchester was abused and ridiculed on a cruise ship by a woman who decided to ram her wheelchair into her and make fun of her disability.
Wendi, who is 54 years old, was sadly diagnosed with RRMS (Relapsing-Remitting Multiple Sclerosis) in 2019, after having symptoms for many years.
A trip to the opticians kick-started Wendi’s diagnosis as she was referred to her GP for blurred vision, but after mentioning her left arm heaviness and loss of balance, an MRI scan was quickly ordered and a diagnosis was made.
“One day, I felt this strange heaviness in my left arm while changing gears in the car. Around that same time, I was also dealing with some lower back pain and sometimes felt a bit wobbly, especially when pulling a door toward me, which made me stagger back a bit. Usually, I’m the type to just wait it out and see if things get better on their own but this was different!” Wendi explained.
One of the toughest parts for Wendi is dealing with the unpredictability of her condition. Her ability to walk has deteriorated and her energy levels are all over the place with most days being a struggle.
In 2020 Wendi purchased her first walking aids from Cool Crutches & Walking Sticks, after she developed a “funky little kick” with her left leg that spasms and makes balancing tricky. Since having the aids, they have helped her hold on to a level of independence that she needed.
“Understandably, my family was worried when I first got diagnosed, sometimes they have treated me like I am made of glass, I’ve always been an independent strong person and despite the difficulties that MS has brought, I’m still that person.”
Unfortunately during a cruise with her family in April last year, Wendi discovered that some people can be less understanding when she had a difficult encounter with one woman who felt the need to ridicule her disability.
Wendi often takes her wheelchair travelling, along with her walking sticks, to ensure she can use either aid depending on her energy that day. At the time, Wendi was using her wheelchair as a rollator, and as she entered a lift, was abused.
“I was met with the most abusive woman who ridiculed me and my disability. I attempted to explain to her that I had MS, but she clearly didn’t care and went on to push my wheelchair into me! I’m a take-no-nonsense kind of person, but that even shocked me. I rang up the reception desk to report what had happened and they said security would look into it but nothing came of it. ” Wendi shared.
“I did see her around the ship again, but she put her head down and didn’t engage with me after. Her husband didn’t say anything either and honestly, I think they were embarrassed.” Wendi continued.
Wendi’s diagnosis has been difficult for both her and her family to adjust to and accept, grieving what you had and trying to understand the changes moving forward.
“You go through a grieving process and that takes time, you need to love yourself. It’s also an ongoing grieving process when your mobility declines or you get tough days mentally but I think if you can learn from the beginning acceptance, in the most deep-rooted way, that will help you grow. If you have the right mindset you can still live a happy and fulfilling life.” Wendi commented.
Wendi added “I think my family wanted to wrap me up in cotton wool at the start, it comes from a place of love, but when you are diagnosed, you have already lost some element of control and having other people do things for you can make that feel worse sometimes. There is a balance though because you also need to be able to ask for help. I think talking is so important, but I understand some people find it difficult.”
Despite Wendi’s struggles and difficult encounters, she has a passion for travelling and wants to show the MS community that it can be done.
Wendi shared, “I have a few travel plans pencilled in which I’m very excited about and I feel incredibly thankful for the opportunity to explore. My Cool Crutches walking stick has made a huge difference for me, and with the right mobility aids, travelling with a disability is so achievable.”
Wendi has also been invited by the MS Society to participate in one of their webinars next March, to share her insights on travelling with a disability.
